You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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