community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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