Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
