Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize