I'm eating all of the evidence.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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