We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Randomize
