It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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