Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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