you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize