SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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