so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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