I molested 6 butterflies tonight
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
