whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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