The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
