Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
