And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
