I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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