He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
