we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
