so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
