And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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