Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
