I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
