Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
