His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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