My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I intend to get homeless drunk
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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