A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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