I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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