Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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