he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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