I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize