reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
we're so committed to being not committed
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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