I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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