I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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