Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
