she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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