chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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