so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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