You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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