gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
