I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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