Just mADE A PArabola og urine
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
