There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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