i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
