he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
