why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
