so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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