What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
How's work?
Spinning.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
