Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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