Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
