Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
