I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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