her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize