Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
