Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he thought i was a dude.
My cat gives me a boner
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
