she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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