I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize