You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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