why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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