Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize